1. Quasi completamente privo di emozioni  (Almost entirely without feeling)
2. Ondeggiando, come se gettato dalla cima della Torre Eiffel (Flailing, as though thrown from the top of the Eiffel Tower)
3. Pieno di errori (Riddled with obvious errors)
4. Come se i musicisti fossero nemici mortali (As though the musicians were mortal enemies)
5. Incapace di trovare il proprio accendino (Unable to find one’s cigarette lighter)
6. Nauseante, come dopo un’ubriacatura (Queasily, as though hungover)
7. Come un piccione spiaccicato (Like a smushed pigeon)
8. Dopo venti anni di matrimonio infelice (After twenty years of unhappy marriage)
9. Come se fosse uno strumento preso in prestito (As though on a borrowed instrument)
10. Come se una pistola fosse stata puntata sulla testa del pianista (As though a pistol were being held to the pianist’s head)

* As presented by Dr. Hafen Schlawkenbergius at the recent Society for the Study of Incredibly Esoteric Music conference in Organstadt, Iceland. A full transcript of Dr. Schlawkenbergius’s paper will be made available here at some point in the very near future. I would like to acknowledge Dr. Marcella Bencivenni (Assistant Professor of History, Hostos Community College), who assisted with the translations from the original Italian. Grazie.